Ed has high hopes, Monty comes home and Alistair styles it out

Call for summer workers prompts international response

Adam Macy says he is ‘very pleased’ by the response to his publicity campaign to attract more seasonal fruit pickers to Home Farm. ‘We had to be creative this year to make up the shortfall of workers from Eastern Europe, and it seems we did the trick with my interview on Radio Borsetshire, taster sessions and posters all over the county,’ he said.

‘We even have one picker who’s travelled from America specially. He said he’d been keeping an eye on the Ambridge village website and saw this as a good opportunity,’ said Mr Macy. ‘I don’t know much about him – he keeps himself to himself and always wears a baseball cap and shades. But I think I detected a trace of a British accent, so who knows? He may have family connections locally, which would be nice.’ (Oh please, God, no. Ed.)

Lloyd: ‘Single wicket victory not awkward at all’

Former Ambridge cricket captain Alistair Lloyd said he felt ‘absolutely fine’ about accepting the Mark Hebden trophy from his soon-to-be-ex-wife, Shula Hebden-Lloyd, after a thrilling Single Wicket competition on Sunday.

‘People said it was awkward when Shula went in for a kiss but I offered a handshake – but that sums up our marriage really,’ said Mr Lloyd.  

‘To be honest, I would have been more embarrassed if I’d been caught in the slips by Molly Button, like Harrison Burns,’ he added.

But Susan Carter of Ambridge View said Mr Lloyd’s participation in the event was ‘a disgrace’. ‘There he was strutting about in his whites like John Travolta, when poor Shula was splitting finger rolls and trying to keep Lexi on top of the burgers,’ she said. ‘Alistair was showing off so much, you’d think he had a point to prove. Which according to Lavinia Rafferty, he does, if you know what I mean.’

Current Ambridge captain, PC Burns, said it was a ‘fair and exciting contest’. ‘I had something in my eye when I got caught out,’ he said. ‘It was actually a tear, because I’m upset about my fiancée Fallon’s campaign to go completely plastic-free. There are some people round here who call me a plastic policeman and I’m worried she’ll get ideas.’ 

Ed hopes Texel will excel

Grange Farm in Ambridge could soon have a champion in residence as Ed Grundy has high hopes for one of his Texel ram lambs. ‘He’s the best of the bunch by far – solid and square, and eats his head off,’ he said. ‘I can’t wait to take him round the county shows and see how he gets on.’

Mr Grundy said the ram is friendly and a great favourite with his niece Poppy. ‘She calls him Peppa Pig but I’d be a laughing stock in the show-ring, so we’ve chosen a name that means a lot to our family,’ he said. ‘The ram will be officially known as ‘William Paranoid Custody Battle Clarrie Worried Sick The Third.’

How to party the Aldridge way

Renowned social hostess Jennifer Aldridge, of Home Farm, knows a thing or two about organising parties – and she’s currently masterminding a glamorous 50th birthday celebration for Ruth Archer of Brookfield.  So The Ambridge Observer is thrilled to share Jennifer’s unique Party Planning Questionnaire, to help readers plan their own fabulous events!

1.     What is the catering theme of your party?

a)    Classic – a whole dressed salmon, vol au vents and pavlova

b)   The ‘Ruth Archer’ – frozen pizza, oven chips and Arctic roll

c)    Porridge (oops sorry, that’s Brian’s ‘Six months inside for pollution offences’ menu)

2.     What music would you like?

a)    Tommy Croker and the Swinging Zimmers

b)   Freddie Pargetter’s Pills & Thrills dance night  (comes with earplugs and stomach pumps)

c)    A silent disco (because David forgot to ask Ben for a Spotify list. Honestly, I ASK you!)

3.     Who would you like to bake the cake?

a) Jill Archer

b) Are you mad? You will never hear the end of it if you ask anyone else.

4.     What will you serve on arrival?

a)    Champagne

b)   Cava (no, sorry. I cannot allow cava to be served at Home Farm. Prosecco if you must).

c)    Margherita Margaritas – Ruth’s favourite: cheese and tomato pizza blended with Malibu and garnished with a cheeky wedge of Kiwi fruit.

    

Pet of the Week

Name: Monty

Owner: Lynda Snell

Likes: playing fetch; making deep, soulful connections with his eyes

Dislikes: not sure yet. Hopefully not shepherd’s huts

Do say: ‘How sweet, you’ve named him after Lucy Maud Montgomery, author of Anne of Green Gables, and not after the famous WWII British General, whom, to be honest, he more closely resembles.’

Don’t say: ‘Lynda, you’re going to need a bigger pooper scooper.’

Borsetshire Rural Cinema

Showing this week: It Shouldn’t Happen to a Vet

Warm-hearted country comedy in which we follow attractive but hapless vet Alistair and his business partner, feisty Glaswegian Anisha, on their rounds. All animal life is here, from a lame bull to a sheep in need of an emergency Caesarean. Their owners are terrific characters too, from luscious Lavinia and her sickly schnauzer to Shula, an old cow with a prolapsed uterus and a bad case of flu. (Are you sure? Ed).