Brian messes up, Alistair perks up and Lily is growing up fast...

Local cook misses out on Royal wedding honour

Jennifer Aldridge of Home Farm, Ambridge, says she is ‘devastated’ to have missed a chance to contribute to the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

Mrs Aldridge was one of a number of home cooks who had been asked to supply elderflower syrup for the wedding cake and a cocktail served at the reception.

‘I was so delighted when Kensington Palace wrote to W.I members, on the QT of course, asking them to send in their syrup,’ she said. ‘They needed gallons of it to feed all those A-list guests.

‘My sister Lilian and I spent hours picking the finest elderflowers and getting the bugs out of them, said Mrs Aldridge. ‘I’d made the syrup and left it on the draining board of my second-best sink to cool. Then there was a commotion, and the next thing I know the kitchen was flooded, my husband Brian was yelling and my  syrup was completely ruined. Apparently he was trying DIY in an effort to impress me. He said: “This isn’t a spanner in my pocket Jenny; I really am pleased to see you!” ’

‘It completely spoiled my enjoyment of the wedding,’ said Mrs Aldridge. ‘And when I saw the guests arriving I was beside myself. The thought that George Clooney might be tasting Jill Archer’s sweet syrup instead of mine was simply too much to bear.’

Contacted by the Ambridge Observer, Mr Aldridge said he regretted the incident. ‘Justin Elliott told me a bit of manly DIY would get me back into Jennifer’s good books,’ he said. ‘Apparently it always works with Lilian. I have to go now – the signal in the barn, where I’m staying, isn’t very good.’

Plans firm up for Open Farm Sunday 

Bridge Farm and Brookfield in Ambridge have announced plans to host a joint event for Open Farm Sunday on June 10. ‘Josh Archer has kindly agreed to set up a farm machinery trail, with an informative quiz, around Bridge Farm,’ said Helen Archer. ‘So in the dairy we thought it would be fun to match ice cream and kefir flavours to the exhibits! So far we’ve got Brake Fluid and Blackberry, Strawberry Sump and Fruity Fergie – that’s my dad Tony’s favourite.

'We're also hoping that Pip Archer, who will be talking about Brookfield's Hereford herd, will go into premature labour, as an added attraction for our visitors, but she's said she can't promise,' said Ms Archer. 

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Hunky vet Alistair Lloyd looks like a dog with two tails as he sneaks out at dawn from the £850,000 detached home of Borsetshire Hunt favourite Lavinia Rafferty. That's no hang-dog expression he's wearing, so it seems there’s life in the old dog yet – but will he be in the doghouse with estranged wife Shula? (No more dog jokes. Ed.)

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Way to go, Will

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Borsetshire Rural Cinema

Showing this week: Last of the Summer Cordial

A feature-length version of this gentle rural sitcom, in which elderly men never seem to grow up. ‘Brains’ Aldridge and his friend ‘Smelly’ Elliott set out to pick elderflowers for Brains’s wife Jenny, who is permanently vexed. But they are waylaid by ‘Omeless Olwen, who sleeps in her car and carries a knife. They convince her they haven’t been sent by her nemesis Pat ‘Goody Two Shoes’ Archer, and the unlikely trio start picking elderflowers, but Brains gets stuck up a tree and tears his trousers. Much hilarity ensues as Smelly tries to rescue him on horseback and Olwen blames it all on the patriarchy.