Can she forgive him?
It rained all week in
Ambridge, but the atmosphere at Brookfield was as frosty as one of Ruth’s
‘signature’ pizzas as she struggled with David’s life-changing decision to
stay. He was quite chirpy, supported by Shula and Lizzie, who took the news
remarkably well. ‘Stop apologising, David! The most important thing is I’ve got
my big brother and his family back!’ beamed Lizzie, while Shula chewed her lip
and did her best to agree.
David was relentlessly
upbeat. ‘One day we might look back on this whole upheaval and see it as a great
thing. We must start thinking outside the box!’ But for Ruth his use of
business-speak, on top of his failure to consult her on the move, was the last
straw. ‘I feel the whole bloody Archer clan is lined up against me!’ she wailed
on Usha’s shoulder. And then of course there is her mum Heather, marooned in
Prudhoe, waiting patiently for the boat to come in. ‘How can I choose between
me mum and me family? How can I do that Usha?’
If Ruth decides she
cannot forgive David’s betrayal of trust and leaves, it will be a devastating
blow for him; good livestock managers are hard to find. But at least Jill, who
has been irritating Ruth beyond measure by tiptoeing round her, offering
tactful cups of tea, would be back in charge of Brookfield, where she belongs.
Although strictly speaking, she isn’t an Archer either.
Happy birthday Tom Archer!
Good news from
Felpersham Hospital, where Tony is now performing on the parallel bars (you sure about that? Ed). He’s due home
in a couple of weeks, so the Bridge Farm clan were in high spirits, celebrating
Tom’s birthday. Jazzer especially welcomed a pint or two, as he’d spent the day
with Johnny, moving pig arcs in full Highland dress. Neil was also on good form,
as his partnership with the sage, considerate business leader that is Tom
Archer goes from strength to strength. ‘Your dad will be proud of you when he
hears your plans, Tom. You’ve kept your vision,’ he said as the young genius
agreed to another of his ideas. With chilli now a permanent fixture on the menu
at home, Neil splashed out on dinner at Botticelli’s for his and Susan’s
anniversary. Congratulations to the Carters!
Will they drop the shop?
The future of Ambridge
Organics, one of Borchester’s most popular retail outlets (not lately. Ed) was in doubt this week as Tom, Helen and Pat held
a summit meeting. Pat was in waspish mood, having drenched her trousers in a
puddle (or at least, that’s what she said). ‘Do you think you’re the only person who’s ever faced this
dilemma?’ she accused Helen, who was bleating about the difficulties of
juggling work with one small child and a man who likes his steak Diane on the
table promptly at six.
But Tom was an
unlikely supporter of Rob’s plan for Helen to close down the shop. ‘Maybe
organics isn’t quite as fashionable as it was, maybe it’s online shopping… it
might be better to cut our losses and get out now,’ he said, not adding that a useless manager and a counter full of rotting cheese might not have helped
much either. It remains to be seen what Tony thinks, but once Tom explains it
in his respectful, considerate way, how can he not agree?
No comfort for Phoebe in Tuckers’ war
 |
| The mood board for the new look at Kate's Kool Kottage |
The week started badly
for poor Phoebe, who was being forced to consider migraine-inducing colour
schemes in Kate’s Kool Kottage. It got worse when Hayley came round to break
the news that she will be staying in Birmingham, divorcing Roy and retraining
as a teacher. ‘Loving someone isn’t the same as wanting to share your life with
them,’ she told Phoebe, who went to see Roy to see if this could be true.
Luckily, Mike had been round earlier to clear up the pizza boxes and dirty
underpants, and had got Roy into the shower, so he looked quite presentable
when Phoebe turned up, but his message was the same. ‘No sweetheart, I don’t
think there is a way,’ he said, chewing on a stale chapatti and sending Phoebe
in floods of tears to Mike. ‘I really thought mum would forgive him, and I want
things to be back the way they were,’ she sobbed to her grandfather, who did
his best to mop up but could offer no solution. Unlike Kate, who thinks that a
fun fur throw and a DVD of Modern Family
can cure all ills.
Legal notices
‘I, Margaret Woolley
of Ambridge in the County of Borsetshire, being of relatively sound mind, do
hereby revoke my previous Will and Testament, which caused my son Tony to have
a midlife crisis and nearly caused his demise. I now bequeath my estate to be divided equally between Tony Archer,
Jennifer Aldridge and Lilian Bellamy, with the provisos that Tony does not buy
another bull and Lilian does not spend it all on gin. I make no provision for
my granddaughter Helen Archer or my great-grandson Henry Archer as their
security will be assured by Helen’s marriage to that lovely man, Robert
Titchener.’
New series: Money matters
Let our personal
finance guru help with your money worries. In this week’s bumper postbag:
Q ‘I used my credit cards to pay for a holiday of a lifetime in Australia
with my wife. I was expecting to cover it with a windfall from my brother.
We’ve now learnt that we won’t be getting the money after all. What should we
do?’
A Contact your creditors and ask for a managed repayment plan. In the
meantime, do you have any ways of boosting your income? For example, if you ran
a pub, could you start watering the beer? Or if your wife was a singer, could she go out
busking? Good luck!
Q ‘My ex-partner has disappeared to Costa Rica and has emptied all my bank
accounts. I am down to my last pashmina. What would you advise?’
A In your longer letter you tell me that your sister has taken you in and
you have a portfolio of investment properties. Under the circumstances the
Citizens Advice Bureau is unlikely to be able to help. I would advise steering
clear of internet dating sites in future.
Q ‘My parents are refusing to invest in my career by paying my tuition
fees. All they’ve given me is a free cottage with hideous varnished furniture
and floral curtains. My father doesn’t even want to pay for a decorator! Please
help! (P.S. I am 37).’
A Oh for heaven’s sake, is this the best you can do? (We’ll find you some real problems next time. Sorry. Ed).
Next week: the pros and cons of setting up a chintzy tea
room in a run-down area of Darrington, and hedge-cutting: how many miles do you
need to do each year to pay the rent on 50 acres?
Brilliant edition. Print it.
ReplyDeleteThanks boss! Will do.
ReplyDelete