Hope those are vegan porkies, Kate...
Regular readers might
wonder why Kate made so little fuss of her daughter Nolly’s 14th birthday on
January 14th. She
wouldn’t even let Jenny, who’s a whiz with technology, Skype her a cake! And
why hadn’t Kate talked to her husband Lucas since arriving in Ambridge?
Trust being the most precious
thing between a mother and daughter, Kate confided in Jenny, over a cosy cup of
herbal tea, that Lucas’s parents had turned him and the children against her,
poisoning their minds so that Nolly won't even speak to her mother now.
Jenny, horrified, told
Brian all about it, who gently pointed out that there might be more than one
side to the story. ‘You’re not suggesting Kate’s lying, are you?’ Jenny fumed,
her rose-tinted specs nearly combusting at Brian’s lack of family loyalty (not
for the first time, it must be said).
But Kate’s version of
events didn’t survive first contact with feisty Phoebe, who finally flipped at the
prospect of moving into Kate’s cottage.
‘Lucas threw you out
and Nolly won’t speak to you because you had an affair. About the same time as
my dad did. You always said you two had a special bond,’ she spat at her mother,
who squirmed like a butterfly on a pin.
‘You didn’t come back
for me; you came back because you’ve got nowhere else to go, and I’m the only
child you’ve got left. And I wish to God I wasn’t!’
And with that she
disappeared to phone Hayley and invite herself to Birmingham for the weekend,
coming down only to ask Kate – ‘mum’ no longer – for a lift.
‘Can you do that for
me Kate? Can you do THAT at least?’ Go, Phoebe!
All hail Hayley!
Thank goodness for
Hayley Tucker. She’s a proper mum, the kind who knows that to mend a broken heart,
all you need is a snuggle on the sofa, a stupid sitcom (preferably one with a
hapless man in it) and a family-sized bar of Galaxy. All of which she supplied
to Phoebe, who’d continued her fight with Kate in the car on the way to
Birmingham. ‘Why do you have to involve me in your lies? Why can’t you be
hypocrites, like other parents?’ she railed.
‘I can’t lie to you!’
retorted Kate, ignoring the inconvenient truth that she already had, several
times. ‘But you could SHUT UP!’ yelled Phoebe, threatening to get out and walk
rather than listen to any more of Kate’s self-serving bluster.
And how does Hayley
feel about all this? She played a blinder, refusing to blame Kate or even Roy,
and suggesting that Phoebe might go and see Roy on his birthday. But is that
solely for Phoebe’s sake, or does the flame still burn for Tucker the … (Family
newspaper. Ed). It remains to be seen…
Tears for souvenirs are all he left her...
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| The eyes follow you round the room... |
Lilian is slowly
coming to terms with the fact that Matt is gone for good, leaving her with few
home comforts apart from a hideous print of a crying gypsy that Jack Woolley
won in a raffle. ‘I loved him so much, J’lene’, she sobbed, digging in the back
of the sofa for spare change. ‘I thought we were in our golden years - the home
stretch!’ Regular readers might wonder if Lilian was thinking that when she set
up a love-nest with Matt’s half-brother Paul. Be that as it may, Lilian is
facing the future with no man, but at least she will have some cash, when
Kenton and Jolene buy her share of The Bull. And that only depends on the sale
of Brookfield. So that’s all fine. One less thing for her to worry about!
Emma and Ed are in
this together…
Ed Grundy took four
cows to market this week (Felpersham, not Borchester, to avoid the
embarrassment). Unfortunately, Emma told Susan, which is as good as putting up
a poster in The Bull. And of course, Susan had some excellent marriage guidance
for her daughter. ‘Ed’s like your dad,’ she said. ‘A hard worker and a lovely
man. But that’s not enough sometimes. So maybe you need to be a bit more like
me; give him a gentle push in the right direction. Not that I ever nag, of
course…’
Meanwhile Neil, his
ears still ringing from the drubbing Susan gave him last week, tried his hand
at assertiveness with Tom and Johnny over the pigs, but failed miserably and slunk
back to Ambridge View to eat chocolate and nurse his grudge. ‘For the last time
Neil, DO something about it!’ was Susan’s response, not noticing the silent
tears rolling down his ruddy cheeks.
… and Joe presses David’s buttons
David, twisting his
cap in his hands, went to see Justin Elliot this week to ask if he and Ruth
could stay on as tenants after the sale. To his surprise, the Beelzebub of
Borsetshire was as nice as pie. ‘If I can help out your family, and it suits
me, it’s a win-win,’ he purred, before going too far by saying that it had
always been his dream to move to the Midlands. Not even Helen Archer would
swallow that one, but David seemed happy enough – until Joe Grundy turned up.
For some reason, it is
vitally important to the Archers to establish that Dan Archer had a milk round
before the war, and here was the proof, stamped on a filthy old bottle that Joe
found in the pole barn, next to his Susan’s old mangle.
‘So you’ll see another Ambridge spring,’
Joe mused on hearing that the move north would probably be delayed until June.
‘That time of year when you turn the cows out, with the sun on their backs…’
‘But times are so
tough in dairy, Joe,’ moaned David.
‘They’re always tough
for farmers. They’re tough for my Ed. But he loves his animals and he loves his
land. That’s the main thing, isn’t it David Archer?’
As Joe remembers it,
Dan was fond of cows and sheep, like his grandson David. ‘But your dad, he was
only interested if they had a snout and a curly tail!’ (which seems a little
harsh on Jill).
‘It’ll be good to see
the ewes and lambs on Lakey Hill one more time,’ David agreed, going all gooey.
But will Joe’s family
history lesson tug strongly enough on the Archer heartstrings to stop the move?
Up north, the robots are marching inexorably on…
Blogger of the Week
This week the Ambridge Observer’s tour of the local
online community visits Jennifer
Aldridge of Home Farm, stalwart of the SAVE campaign. Here’s her latest post:
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| Elliot's plan for Brookfield: dare he deny it??!!! |
‘Outrageous… riding
roughshod over countryside… MASSIVE distribution hub... access roads... Ambridge
becomes industrial wasteland… arc lights, guard dogs and barbed wire… chemical
weapons stored in the Am… betrayal of everything England stands for… Brookfield
demolished to build disgusting decadent pleasure palace… Justin Elliot,
Borsetshire’s answer to Nicholas van Hoogstraten… (Whoa! Have we legalled
this? Drop and replace with Bert Fry’s Burns Night sonnet ASAP. Ed.).
Valentine’s Day Ball at The Bull – that dance card in full
• Osteoporosis Tango:
Carol Tregorran and Bert Fry
• The Lavender Waltz:
Helen Archer and Ian Craig
• Jealous Guy (slow
foxtrot): Rob Titchener (solo)
• The Bartleby Polka:
Carol Tregorran and Joe Grundy
• Wedding Bells Waltz:
Adam Macy and Ian Craig
• The Takes-Two-To
Tango: Adam Macy and Charlie Thomas
• The Moving North
Jitterbug: Ruth and David Archer
• We’re in the Money
(comedy Charleston): Jolene and Kenton Archer
• Highland Fling:
Jazzer McCreary and the nearest female
• One For My Baby, and
One More For the Road (rumba): Lilian Bellamy and Justin Elliot
• SAVE the last dance
for me: Jennifer Aldridge and Lynda Snell
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